Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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