You're my little dorito
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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