I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
