So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
