respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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