how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
