i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
