So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
