i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
