Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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