My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
you never un-have a 4some
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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