Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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