Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Drake has all the answers
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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