no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm having to shit out rocks
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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