Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize