I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We are two peas in an std pod
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
