I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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