When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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