have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
