She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
