Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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