this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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