Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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