You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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