What a fucking waste of an outfit
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And then my night got REAL pukey
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
