so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
