ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
His hands were made for my vagina.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
