Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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