Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
