I heard we made out
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
