Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
