I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
