We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
