And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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