mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
