i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize