Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
