return my video game
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize