Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
