You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize