maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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