But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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