and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize