I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
