Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
