i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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