I cannot find my penis.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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