I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
