No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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