DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize