Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
