Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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