you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
