I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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