HIV tests are more positive than that guy
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I believe in your delicious
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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