There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
