You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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