We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
