I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
