she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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