Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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