I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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