is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
