She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
