she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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