Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
