who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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