i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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