So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just googled if crying burns calories
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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