I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
