I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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