PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just invented taco cereal.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
