i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize