We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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