SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize