Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
