is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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