Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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