If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
