TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
