I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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