Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
worst night to have a conscience
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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